The Real Time Magazine Cover


royally-fucked

For obvious reasons, this is the image that I think was really intended to grace the cover of Time Magazine this year.

Why do I think that, you wonder?  Gee, let’s see if I can count just a few of the reasons.

  • We’re practically at the 11th hour and the Orange-Haired Orangutan still refuses to disclose his tax filings or even attempt to dis-invest any of his assets, assets that we now see are littered over the entire globe.  The fact is, he’s now trying to double-down by saying that he’ll “hand over his business interests to his two oldest sons,” as if that will have any bearing on his being in violation of the emoluments clause of the US Constitution the very second he takes the oath of office.
  • The OHO, claiming that he’s concerned with the erosion of law and order (and his idea of moral behavior) in American culture, immediately selects a person known nation-wide to be one of the most regressive, anti-inclusive, anti-civil rights, religious moralists in the country to lead his Department of Justice.
  • The OHO, pretending for months on end to be a friend of working-class people has recommended a fast food magnate for Secretary of Labor who has been a long-time advocate of replacing his workers with robots, has heavily financed the resistance to raising the national minimum wage, abhors laborers and thinks that the best way to sell burgers is to appeal to most basic instincts of stone-age misogynistic men.
  • The OHO claimed that he was thankful for Al Gore’s visit and knowledgeable input to his questions about climate science matters and then immediately placed the name of a known climate science denier and self-admitted enemy of the Environmental Protection Agency up for EPA Director.
  • The OHO claimed that he cares about the future of American education and then promptly places the name of a creationist and sworn enemy of public education up for the post of Education Secretary who is committed to destroying the public by channeling taxpayer money to religious schools.
  • The OHO demonstrated his faith in establishing positive diplomatic relations with the rest of the world by quickly nominating a basic international know-nothing to be our representative at the United Nations.
  • In an effort to put his best foot forward in his efforts to select the perfect person for his Secretary of State – posts held by Thomas Jefferson and James Madison, for christ’s sake – the OHO is keeping us all in suspense about whether he’ll pick (a) a mayor who has gone completely insane right before our very eyes, (b) a neo-con war monger who is a major apologist of the Iraq disaster who the OHO claims we were sucked into, (c) a repentant general convicted of disclosing top secret information in exchange for a romp in the sack, (d) a person who in an earlier incarnation called the OHO “a con, a fraud and a pathological liar,” or (e) a host of other names of possible candidates that make little sense to anyone in or out of governing circles for the past 100 years.   Obviously, the OHO, being the great carnival barker that he is, is playing this angle for all the free publicity he can possibly squeeze out of every media channel on the planet; and every channel has been more than happy to oblige him.
  • The OHO claimed that America’s urban areas are in yooooge decline, promises to make everything great again soon and then promptly places the name of a known grifter and self-professed incompetent’s name in consideration for HUD Secretary, even after said incompetent admitted to having no skills whatsoever to run this agency of the federal government with any degree of knowledge, skill or competency.  The nominee, in fact, publicly said these very words of himself on cable TV.  The OHO said that it doesn’t matter: “He’s gonna’ take the position.  Case closed.”
  • The OHO selected a known anti-mooslem fanatic to be his personal National Security Intelligence advisor and asks that said anti-mooslem’s son, a nationally-known promulgator of insane conspiracy theories that begin with the nation’s leading conspiracy nutcase – Alex Jones – be given national security clearance and access to top secret intelligence reports.  Knowledge of this insanity alone gives me shivers that won’t stop.
  • The OHO nominated a Marine General who must first obtain a special Congressional waiver in order to occupy the position of Secretary of Defense.
  • The OHO claimed to be a “true populist” and then staged a full-court press event to tout his strong-man abilities to persuade companies to “stay in America or face a 35% import fee if they relocate their plants to other countries” to prove it.  As he’s taking everyone in as a sucker with this ruse, he then immediately gives his targeted company a $700K a year tax break (guaranteed for ten full years, mind you) regardless of whether or not they keep 1 or 1000 of their manufacturing jobs in the US.  Even more ridiculous, it was his running mate, Mike Pence, who was responsible for the transfer of $7M of taxpayer funds to a private business.  The OHO just took all the “credit” for the sly maneuver while the Grey-Haired Squirrel Monkey remained silent at his side.
  • Without any knowledge or understanding whatsoever of the Boeing program supporting Air Force One, the OHO tweeted that the price of the program is “too expensive,” asked that the program be cancelled and then issued a veiled strong-man threat to other companies who he believes “charge too much.”
  • The OHO preaches national unity and a “coming together” yet refuses any suggestion whatsoever to call off the dogs he unleashed in the KKK, The Loyal Knights, the Aryan Nations, the John Birch Society and even your average brown-shirted, skin-headed street thug…. who everyone knows he’ll need (and call upon) to help “round up those illegals.”
  • The OHO enjoys basking in the glory of every top-name fungelical nutbag in the country including Jerry Falwell Jr, convicted thief and con-artist Jim Bakker and every tongue-speaking, snake-handling, oil-anointing idiot roaming the public streets, airways and halls of Congress without a straight jacket.

UPDATE:  It looks like the insane mayor is out of consideration for Sec. of State!  The OHO’s next pick for Secretary of State is a billionaire oil and gas mogul with strong ties to the Kremlin and other oil and gas moguls in Russia.  Oh yea, this is a fine choice all right. I can’t image anything going completely off the rails with this pick.

And the Orange-Haired Orangutan has done all this in less than 30 days!  Oh man, just wait until 60 days have elapsed.

Our work is cut out for us, boys and girls.  With all our might, we must resist.  Start by joining the resistance today.

On the bright side, can you just imagine what the national day of prostration will look like this year?  I predict that every insane religious nutbag in the country will show up and provide us with enough entertainment to last the rest of our lives.

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About Rev. El Mundo

Mocker of superstition and woo.
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