Conservative growth strategy: court the morons

I’ve long suspected, and have staunchly maintained, that the principal strategy used by those on the “conservative” slope of the political spectrum to help grow their ranks was to appeal heavily to the low and no-information voter.  “Knowledge: the lower, the better” stands a good chance of actually being inscribed in very small print somewhere on their official coat of arms.

Seriously, what better way can possibly be conceived to stay competitive in a general election than to appeal to a voter who, by any reasonable standard, can only be described as an ignoramus?  The group is a natural.  It’s current size alone can only be described as gi-yuuug-ic and it’s growing exponentially every year.  This voting block crosses literally every demographic line and is impartial to race, color, creed or gender.  In the 2012 presidential race, 43% of the electorate voted for Romney.  We knew then precisely what the official moron count was.

These idiots have by no means gone away.  In fact, they may be more entrenched than ever.

This is precisely the strategy the Drumpfmeister is taking to a whole new level in his carnival act of a presidential campaign.  He is deliberately making overt appeals to some of lowest information voters one could possibly imagine.  I frequently refer to them as morons, or, when I’m really offended by something one of their clan has done or said, morans.  Here’s a picture of one just for clarification purposes.  I’m confident to a 99.99% degree of certainty that the dufas holding the sign is a front-line Drumpf supporter, maybe even a roadie.


But I digress.  Mea culpa.

There is plenty of anecdotal evidence to support my contention.  A couple of days ago, however, I think I may have found the smoking gun, the absolutely indisputable piece of evidence supporting my long-held belief.  It came by way of a headline story in my local newspaper, The Vindicator, titled, “Portman: Trump on ticket will help [my] re-election bid.”  It was the headline banner.  A blind person could see it from the ISS.

Here’s part of what Portman said: “…. having billionaire businessman Donald Trump lead the Republican ticket as its presidential nominee will “be a positive in the end” for [my] re-election bid.  I’ve got a lot of friends frankly who normally don’t vote and they came out and voted for [Trump], and they don’t consider themselves Republicans normally, but they strongly support [Trump].  He’ll bring new people to the party, no question about it.”

Now, anyone with only nominal proficiency in spoken or written conservatese knows very well how this statement translates to English: “Drumpf is doing a great job acting as a rare earth magnet for morons, simpletons and self-destructive imbeciles.  He’s whistlin’ their favorite songs and they’re flyin’ out of the woodwork by the gazillions to hear him sing it.  I’m gettin’ in on some of that action.  I have no problem with the moron vote whatsoever.  After all, the nitwits Drumpf has somehow managed to nudge from their stupors are members of the very same pool of low/no information dolts that I’ve been courting for years!”

There you have it, boys and girls.  I rest my case.


About Rev. El Mundo

Mocker of superstition and woo.
This entry was posted in Humor, politics and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Conservative growth strategy: court the morons

  1. I believe it’s pronounced gi-yuuuuge-ic.

    • Thank you.

      I should have caught that immediately. It’s a gi-yuuug-ic crowd being spoon fed ignorance and division by, as I’ve always maintained, an even more gi-yuuuugic a-hole.

      I’ve corrected the post.

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