Ohio Atty. General exposes new Planned Parenthood scandal


December 13, 2015

Open letter to:
Ohio Attorney General, Mike DeWine
Ohio Secretary of State, John Husted
Ohio Governor, John Kasich
Ohio Senator, Rob Portman

From: People for the Humane Treatment of Baby Parts (PHTBP)

Re: Disposition of fetuses and fetal parts

Honorable Mike DeWine,

We highly commend your administration for its outstanding investigative work uncovering yet another of Planned Parenthood’s outrageous transgressions – the inhumane treatment of fetal corpses and fetal parts.  Boiling and tossing the remains of babies and baby parts in public landfills has got to be, without doubt, the single-most outrageous story of this decade.

However, it must be pointed out that the investigation conducted by your crack team did not go quite far enough.  There is actually another layer to this outrage that is going unseen and is, quite frankly, an even greater outrage.

Our investigators have recently learned that the disposal companies contracted by Planned Parenthood offices throughout the country to humanely dispose of baby parts has been secretly shipping everything that they collect to an isolated and unassuming rural facility somewhere deep within California’s Emerald Triangle.  We have convincing video evidence (we have sent copies of our video to Carly Fiorina) showing that these baby parts are then being treated with special organic compounds and placed in crystal-lined igloo-like domes to compost for several months.  The resulting compost is then sold to the region’s marijuana growers who are using it to fertilize their crops.

This link shows one of these hidden, crystal-domed facilities in action.  If you listen carefully you could hear the souls of babies screaming in agony as a large machine violently churns the compost just before shipping it off to growers.

Recent studies have shown that the strains of marijuana produced today are exponentially more potent than at any time in the past.  The Attorney General’s office as well as Ohio’s greater law enforcement community have long speculated about how such potency could possibly have been achieved.  We believe that these discoveries speak directly to this mystery.  It must be stopped.

We respectfully ask that you reconvene your investigative team – as quickly as humanly possible – to take a serious look into this side of their operation and expose the link between Planned Parenthood and California’s marijuana cartels, some of whom have already metastasized into Oregon, Washington, Colorado and Alaska.  We must do all we can to stop this plague before it reaches Ohio.

Respectfully yours,
Rev. El Mundo de Guevara, President, PHTBP

 

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About Rev. El Mundo

Mocker of superstition and woo.
This entry was posted in Humor, politics and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Ohio Atty. General exposes new Planned Parenthood scandal

  1. Fred Mundy says:

    This is some crack investigative reporting by the Rev. El Mundo! Who’d a thunk it? Sure hope the Ohio senator can make this right! Oh, the humanity!
    Deacon Mundy

    • Our investigative team has learned that a high potency strain of marihoochie called “Blue Dream” is being cultivated in them parts that uses huge amounts of composted baby parts, livers and feet are said to be highly prized.

      We’re looking for locals in the region who may have more knowledge of this activity. Please forward our work to others in the area who may be able to aid our investigators.

  2. Nancy D. says:

    I get your sarcasm. It’s ridiculous how the OPENLY, Anti-choice dewine/Kasich/husted/portman enjoy DENYING WOMEN their right to abortion rights and enjoy passing SEXIST anti-choice legislation. I’m sick of it. They should spend their time investigating anti-choicers in Ohio who protest clinics, block clinics, attack workers & others, that would be time well spent!

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