Christian values hero to address the flock

I have a giant headache that simply won’t stop bangin’, no matter how hard I bang it against the wall.   Why, you ask?  Today, a gaggle of x-tian nutjobs in Iowa decided that it would be a wonderful idea to invite one of the slimiest, sleaziest, creepiest, vile, lyin’, con jobs of 21st-century America (without even considering Berni Madoff, Jack Abramoff and GW Beanbrain himself), to come and give them a pep talk.  Their choice: Ralph Reed.

Scheez, it pains me even to type the characters that spell his name.  Typing them makes me feel dirty and violated. 

I’ve been asking myself all day: who, in their right freakin’ mind, would willingly invite this jackass into their presence?  Personally, I can’t even imagine that I would willingly allow myself to be in the same city with this sleezball idiot let alone in the same room.  Knowing that it was a group of “evangelical x-tian voters” from Iowa that extended an invitation to this pond scum, I then must ask: Do these x-tians belong to a select club of the total and incurably insane?

As I see it, Christians inviting Ralph Reed to speak to Christians (at least what I know of the Christian cult) is tantamount to asking Lucifer himself to address the them.

Just for kicks I went cruzin’ the intertubes today in search of the words, “ralph reed.”  In .16 seconds, 1,600,000 hits were returned to me.  I decided to play a little game:  I closed my eyes and randomly selected 20 of those hits on 20 randomly selected Google pages.  Guess what I found?  Yup, you guessed it right.  Not  surprisingly, I could not find a single article that had anything nice to say about this jerk.  Nothing.  Zip. Nada.  Every single writer I selected could not say or allude to anything about Reed without referring to him as a fraud, a hypocrite, a thief, a pathological lia and much worse.  And the consensus was nearly unanimous on every count.  I feel fairly confident that if I did light upon a glowing characterization of the twit, it probably would have come only from another fraud and con artist just like himself (gosh, golly why did Falwell’s name immediately pop in mind)?

What does this invitation leave us to believe about these so-called “Christian values” voters?  Surely they must know everything there is to know about this cretin.  It only took me .16 seconds to gather enough research material to understand fairly well what kind of slime Reed represents.  Could it possibly be that this group of x-tians have gone totally off the rails and now spend their reflective hours worshiping putrid pond slime?

Yea, that’s a heap of real Christian values right there I’ll tell ya.

Seriously, what in the hell is going on with these people?
~Rev. El

About Rev. El Mundo

Mocker of superstition and woo.
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